http://vimeo.com/2078991

Rain is good to me. Today I took the SATs at Fitchburg. It was strange not talking to anyone for 7 hours. My prompter was this Latino guy called Anthony who had gang tattoos and a lip ring, who read a book called Super Poker the whole time. The tests were long and arduous, just getting used to the timing is tough. But thats done for now which is nice. I had a fun day with friends today. It's amazing how all of a sudden things seem to be going swell.

It's March and I feel increasingly disconnected. I just find that I never act myself this time of the year, like I have some sort of mental block as winter drags on. I feel weighed down and frustrated about a lot of things: school, friends, girls and I know half of it is just myself over-thinking things, which makes it even more aggravating. I'm doing fine, but it sometimes feels like a grind and I just need for winter to end. I really want to walk outside again with shorts, or just to be more carefree. I feel this wrenching feeling in my stomach thinking of how bad I want spring and the change it brings.

Winter is really balls. It feels like a trap and if it snows one more time...I might have to go on a murderous rampage. Anywhow, like the weather my mood fluctuates, and some days like today are good and others are just 'going through the motions' shitty. It's hard to feel as excited about things, especially in school.
Today at work there was a new bird in the bird cage! Since last year there has been one lonely little white bird in a cage. Seeing it finally joined by a companion gave me a surge of energy for some reason. This blog is a trainwreck but I don't really mind.
Bro time today playing with photoshop was almost too fun. Spontanenoussness is all the gets me through November-April. Song of the Day- Beat Boy by Die Antwoord!!!!

It's funny. Whenever I go out on a walk I usually bring my camera. About half an hour ago I drove over to the sanctuary without it, and of course missed out on what could have been the best photograph, but it doesn't even matter.
I just needed to get out of the house, and the feeling of going somewhere by myself in my car makes me feel limitless, and instantly refreshed. Since I have gotten my license, I have gone to the sanctuary pretty much everyday, and it does wonders for my mental health.
At the sanctuary I parked and looked out onto the dull and dark marsh and decided to instead walk up towards the woods, rather than the barren and frozen swamp below me. At the sanctuary there is a huge field with trees at all sides. During the summer its covered in wild milkweed plants, but in the winter remains cold, in every sense of the word. To get to this field you have to pass through an archway of pine trees, and as I reached these trees I noticed seven deer, poised and alert at my arrival. Anyhow, I walked closer towards them and they froze still. It was one of the most dramatic moments, with the wind biting at my exposed face and running through the branches of trees. I must have stood there for about five minutes, just watching. The grey clouds looked straight out of a film, and it was one of those moments when you feel alive. I ran back to my car, winded, and drove home. In those five minutes I felt more than I have the past few weeks, and it made an otherwise shitty Valentines Day just fine.

Kettering by the Antlers. I have listened to them nonstop for three days.