My blogging has been so erratic since the summer. The last thing I feel like doing right now is writing, but there is this little nagging voice in the back of my head that makes me. This past weekend was filled with the same old shit that sterling fair brings about every year. I grow to like the yearly fair less and less. There were good parts as well, but my blog would be even more tedious if I described them. Friday, I got played by this girl but I don't mind. Anyways, these days I strangely have two jobs. The perks of not being on the soccer team are that I now babysit the little sisters (not so little, 10 and 13) of Dave and Dan, who are both on the team. I do this like three days a week after school now, and remarkably get paid to eat food and without doing much else. Eraser-No Age.

It's so much harder blogging during the week. My non-existent 'work ethic' feels like its already going to hell, and with it, my desire to blog everyday. But I am trying to persevere. Today at school I had my first study, and it helps the day out immensely.The best part of my day was wishing KenLEN (the blind kid from my town) a happy birthday. It was the best part of my day only because I imagine how he must have felt. Walking along in a sea of faces that he can't quite see, and he suddenly hears someone say a simple "Hey. Happy Bday Man". Imagine nobody knowing your birthday or saying hi to you on the day you turn seventeen, that thing makes me feel sad. I'm not saying I am a saint or anything either, but the fact that one little 'hello' could actually lift someones day sometimes is quite good. The problem is once you do one thing nice like that you feel like your 'quota of niceness' is reached..Other than that my day was reasonably fine, despite the ever increasing work load. OH and I hate math. I was sitting taking an impossible test and I wondered why in the world I am forced to learn it. I'm not going to use this level of math later on. I will forget it a month afterwards. To me thats the flaw in education, the lack of choice at times.

Last year during school I absolutely dreaded long-blocks, regardless of the class and luckily this year is different. This school thang is better, but its going to be a tough year. Today I was at Dan's house with Kyle and they drew dicks on my notebooks when I left the room, just joking around..So now my notebooks are 100% covered in stickers that say "Hello my name is.." to blot out the graffiti of genitalia on my books. I like them better this way though, so no harm done. It was so beautiful out this afternoon. Even though all I wanted to do was relax and watch a movie, I forced myself to go outside. I'm not going to lie, as soon (keyword SOON) as I get a spare 3 hours I plan on watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona starring Scarlett Johnasson and Penelope Cruz because I snagged it expertly at the library check out desk today after wanting to see it for obvious reasons. My school weeks are marginally uneventful right now and I have a not-so varied routine, but if I actually had more things to do I don't know how I would manage. I am completely stress free. Fitz and Dizzyspells by Andrew Bird.

This weekend has felt more like a week, but in a good way. It seems odd being in school and waking up a 6 tomorrow, now that I have sunken back into summer routine. Nothing eventful or even blog-worthy at all happened today. I took a half stab at cleaning my room and walked around Staples aimlessly for a bit under the pretense of buying shit. I can't say I mind. When I was little I would love cleaning so much, especially when it rained. I remember intentionally trashing my room until it resembled a small scale war zone, so that I could have a good cleaning sesh when it rained in a few days. The day rain was scheduled it never did, and I was left with an absolute jungle of a room on a lovely summer day. What can you do? For the past few hours I have been listening to Conor Oberst. He reminds me of bob dylan in a way, but with a far better voice.
Moab- by the aforementioned man

You could really feel the seasons shifting today. It was one of those perfect days when summer fades slowly into fall, gracefully. Comet Pond at 11 at night has such eerie stillness. The moon poured itself onto the sandy beach, and its reflections looked like small diamonds floating and glistening on top of the abyss of black. I felt beyond at ease.
The song of the day is Empire State of Mind by Jay Z. Surprisingly I love it. I must have listened to it about 20 times today.

I can't write. I have tried for the last fifteen minutes. Why can't feelings be less complicated? I sometimes think about how great it would be if there was only joy and happiness and love in the world. Then other times I realize how opposite this is. Life wouldn't be life without sadness. In a way it's one of the most beautiful human emotions. It's one that we feel the most. Its always the sadness and grief of people I care for that gets to me. Like today I feel heart wrenched knowing how much suffering there is out there. I feel a kind of dull emptiness today and I tried to cover it up with being outwardly jokingly. You might be thinking, oh is joey okay? Yes I'm fine, in fact I'm rarely. At one part of the day I felt like people feel when they cry. I didn't though and haven't in two years. A bit strange. You need sadness to be able to feel happy or else happiness would become bland. That's scary to me. Emotions are more powerful than anything in life. Anything.

Strangely, everything about school today seemed a little bit better. I have quite a large amount of homework, and math threatens to be so hard that I will possibly go into cataclysmic fits of rage when I have to take a test in it (This tuesday yay!).
I saw the mystery girl I blogged about a while ago. She was walking her dog near my driveway, and I didn't see her and I had to walk to the center of town, to work cleaning. I creepily walked behind her for about fifty feet then introduced myself. After we finished our salutations she was like "I had better get going" and pointed her head in the direction of the common. I had to go that way so we walked in silence for a few minutes with the comment about the weather. It felt like an awkward situation straight out of a cliche movie. There is work to do.
The picture of the day today, is of graffiti I took a few days ago, but it no longer looks like a picture. I think its quite alright though.