Walking home from work today I passed a man with two small black dogs, both frolicking joyfully on the town common. As I went down to the sidewalk I noticed a short woman being pulled along by a large greyhound type. It was staring wistfully at it's fellow canines, but after a sharp tug on its leash, it dejectedly turned around. It's pained expression didn't last long, as it soon grew fascinated by acorns. Anyways. Looking at the sun falling behind the sharp gray clouds, with the crisp breeze smelling of woodsmoke, I was reminded how much I appreciate autumn.
I need to go study for apush, and the workload for school this year has been practically illegal. It irritates me when people get paid to do something, but then never actually do it. Aka high school guidance councilors. I am so peeved at mine, because he still hasn't switched around my schedule since I asked him to a good week ago. Relator by Peter Yorn and Scarlett Johansson

EDIT: This post is crap. To continue the dog theme, at dinner I found out my cousins dog Tilly was put down today. I loved this dog.

Part of me wanted to go into a warm cave this weekend and just stay there, warm and asleep. But it just happened to have been homecoming, so that idea was promptly annihilated. Homecoming, the dance itself I mean, was surprisingly good this year, partly because I went with impossibly low expectations. Most people went and complained the whole time about how they wished it was over. How are you going to enjoy anything in life thinking like that? Anyways the day was killed by the ensuing party. I don't get the whole drinking thing. Or partying with a bunch of people you don't really know/like. I'm glad I left early. Yesterday I went to see Why? at Clark. The lead singer had so much energy and it was a really lively show. This whole entry is a recap, but it feels that my last week needs has been so packed, that its the only way I can blog today. I just realized I haven't slept in my own bed since last thursday! I went to Yom Kippur services with the Glick fam this morning. I didn't know what to expect, since I haven't been to temple for a while. At first I was a bit intimidated by all the Hebrew, but then as the rabbi talked and the service went on I was so glad to be there. This one part of the prayer book about atoning seemed like the wisest little page in the world. It was all about problems in life, and discovering who you really are. Religion is such a mystery to me. I like the feeling of being involved in one, but I often can't fundamentally understand them. Yesterday the song of the day was anything by why, but today I have listened to Phoenix non-stop instead of studying. Lisztomania.

musicmusicmusic. All I have done today is listen to it. And get lost in it.

Objects of My Affection- Peter Bjorn and John. its brilliant. The lyrics perfectly describe everything.

Potato Harvest '09 bitchezz! For months my mum has been tending to her little potato patch and just recently we have been reaping the benefits, aka potatoes with every meal. My mum is always so happy gardening and then proudly displaying her beautiful potato children before they are sacrificed for dinner. Of course these spuds aren't your ordinary 'tatoes. They are purple and taste marvellous.
I love going on my ancient road bike at around six in the evening all by myself. I had the epiphany of listening to music as I pedalled, which I hadnever done before. The experience was wild. I blasted M79 by Vampire Weekend and then Hotel Song by Regina Spektor. I felt super content.

Every time I began to type a sentence on here I end up erasing it this past week. It's because things are so damn hard to explain. I think that if I start to blog everyday-ish again it will get better. The constant cycle of school and work and sleep is getting to me. I hate routines. On a more positive note, I had a good day, for a few tiny reasons.

1. Someone looked at the shirt I was wearing (with Obama on it), they applauded my school spirit and told me what a superhero the president is.
2. On the bus home I talked to my neighbor Wilfred who I had never spoken too. He is 19, black and from Africa. He's been here a while, since he's a refugee and he's new to the school. He was bobbing his head up and down, totally immersed in his music. I kept telling myself to start talking to him. I imagined how hard it is to be him. He has no family, and must feel so isolated. We talked about rap, and he has his own little studio and told me to call him WiLeezy.
3. I was babysitting dan's little sister today. We went biking around the neighborhood and she told me all the stuff he does that is nice to her and that she loves him as a brother. It was nice because I feel like she might not always be listened too and I like being that outlet to talk to. For anyone.
4. I was working cleaning the church preschool and they got a new vacuum. It's industrial strength and mechanically beautiful. I think i'm in love.
5. I was walking in the dark from the library. It was wonderfully warm out, with a light breeze and I felt so peaceful and free. If only for five minutes of the day. I kicked a bunch of acorns. I felt so satisfied by the littlest things.

I have felt absolutely terrible this whole week. Partly because I have been physically thrashed by ear infections but also life in general seems to be so complicated. Nothing ever seems easy. I never know how to put it, but i'm always okay, most often really good, and only very rarely bad. Right now its hovering between the bad and okay part. I wish I could word that better. I always seem to get stuck on the whole relationships and girls thing. I always tell myself "Your a nice guy, things will work out just dandy for you. No rush. Don't worry about it." Minus the 'dandy' part. I never say the word dandy. My girl situation at the moment is the main reason I am feeling a little low. I honestly don't mind being single, sometimes I just feel it would be nice being in a relationship with someone, just for the sake of being with someone. But for the most part I don't let it get to me, except today. And its easy to say just wait and you'll find the perfect girl, but that doesn't make the immediate future any better. It's not even that, I just let it eat me up. Its kinda like the tide of the ocean, on days like these I tend to ebb and flow with highs and lows. Today I talked to the girl about stuff and she tried to make me feel guilty about everything, maybe it was her way to take some of her own problems and put them on me. I felt kind of ashamed about myself for letting myself getting into a shit situation. But at the same time I was pissed because I felt she was being so unfair to me about things, trying to make me look like the bad guy of everything. Relationships and love and highschool are three things that must be polar opposites. The truth is there are no simple answers about anything at all. It all comes down to really knowing yourself.. The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to understand other people. I feel so lucky to have the friends I do. My family is such a constant in my life, that I often undervalue. My mum has so much unconditional love for me (so does my dad). My sister is a remarkable person. My dad seems to understand things well, and he always seems to have words to say what he feels. Unrelatedly, his newfound love of Jay Z is cracking me up. He seems to be always listening to him, with headphones or on his computer, bopping his head like a true ghetto man child. I feel a lot better than I did earlier. Letting out mythoughts, even as badly as I did in this blog and to some of my close friends, helps. The more I think about it, I love life. I love when it's unclear and difficult like this. I'm glad everything isn't easy. I love the unpredictability. The emotion. The friendships. Everyone has the same struggles which is comforting, but also makes me feel closer to every human being out there.
Westfall by Okkervil River.( thanks for the musical recommendation for tonight emglick- it was perfect)

My blogging has been so erratic since the summer. The last thing I feel like doing right now is writing, but there is this little nagging voice in the back of my head that makes me. This past weekend was filled with the same old shit that sterling fair brings about every year. I grow to like the yearly fair less and less. There were good parts as well, but my blog would be even more tedious if I described them. Friday, I got played by this girl but I don't mind. Anyways, these days I strangely have two jobs. The perks of not being on the soccer team are that I now babysit the little sisters (not so little, 10 and 13) of Dave and Dan, who are both on the team. I do this like three days a week after school now, and remarkably get paid to eat food and without doing much else. Eraser-No Age.

It's so much harder blogging during the week. My non-existent 'work ethic' feels like its already going to hell, and with it, my desire to blog everyday. But I am trying to persevere. Today at school I had my first study, and it helps the day out immensely.The best part of my day was wishing KenLEN (the blind kid from my town) a happy birthday. It was the best part of my day only because I imagine how he must have felt. Walking along in a sea of faces that he can't quite see, and he suddenly hears someone say a simple "Hey. Happy Bday Man". Imagine nobody knowing your birthday or saying hi to you on the day you turn seventeen, that thing makes me feel sad. I'm not saying I am a saint or anything either, but the fact that one little 'hello' could actually lift someones day sometimes is quite good. The problem is once you do one thing nice like that you feel like your 'quota of niceness' is reached..Other than that my day was reasonably fine, despite the ever increasing work load. OH and I hate math. I was sitting taking an impossible test and I wondered why in the world I am forced to learn it. I'm not going to use this level of math later on. I will forget it a month afterwards. To me thats the flaw in education, the lack of choice at times.

Last year during school I absolutely dreaded long-blocks, regardless of the class and luckily this year is different. This school thang is better, but its going to be a tough year. Today I was at Dan's house with Kyle and they drew dicks on my notebooks when I left the room, just joking around..So now my notebooks are 100% covered in stickers that say "Hello my name is.." to blot out the graffiti of genitalia on my books. I like them better this way though, so no harm done. It was so beautiful out this afternoon. Even though all I wanted to do was relax and watch a movie, I forced myself to go outside. I'm not going to lie, as soon (keyword SOON) as I get a spare 3 hours I plan on watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona starring Scarlett Johnasson and Penelope Cruz because I snagged it expertly at the library check out desk today after wanting to see it for obvious reasons. My school weeks are marginally uneventful right now and I have a not-so varied routine, but if I actually had more things to do I don't know how I would manage. I am completely stress free. Fitz and Dizzyspells by Andrew Bird.

This weekend has felt more like a week, but in a good way. It seems odd being in school and waking up a 6 tomorrow, now that I have sunken back into summer routine. Nothing eventful or even blog-worthy at all happened today. I took a half stab at cleaning my room and walked around Staples aimlessly for a bit under the pretense of buying shit. I can't say I mind. When I was little I would love cleaning so much, especially when it rained. I remember intentionally trashing my room until it resembled a small scale war zone, so that I could have a good cleaning sesh when it rained in a few days. The day rain was scheduled it never did, and I was left with an absolute jungle of a room on a lovely summer day. What can you do? For the past few hours I have been listening to Conor Oberst. He reminds me of bob dylan in a way, but with a far better voice.
Moab- by the aforementioned man

You could really feel the seasons shifting today. It was one of those perfect days when summer fades slowly into fall, gracefully. Comet Pond at 11 at night has such eerie stillness. The moon poured itself onto the sandy beach, and its reflections looked like small diamonds floating and glistening on top of the abyss of black. I felt beyond at ease.
The song of the day is Empire State of Mind by Jay Z. Surprisingly I love it. I must have listened to it about 20 times today.

I can't write. I have tried for the last fifteen minutes. Why can't feelings be less complicated? I sometimes think about how great it would be if there was only joy and happiness and love in the world. Then other times I realize how opposite this is. Life wouldn't be life without sadness. In a way it's one of the most beautiful human emotions. It's one that we feel the most. Its always the sadness and grief of people I care for that gets to me. Like today I feel heart wrenched knowing how much suffering there is out there. I feel a kind of dull emptiness today and I tried to cover it up with being outwardly jokingly. You might be thinking, oh is joey okay? Yes I'm fine, in fact I'm rarely. At one part of the day I felt like people feel when they cry. I didn't though and haven't in two years. A bit strange. You need sadness to be able to feel happy or else happiness would become bland. That's scary to me. Emotions are more powerful than anything in life. Anything.

Strangely, everything about school today seemed a little bit better. I have quite a large amount of homework, and math threatens to be so hard that I will possibly go into cataclysmic fits of rage when I have to take a test in it (This tuesday yay!).
I saw the mystery girl I blogged about a while ago. She was walking her dog near my driveway, and I didn't see her and I had to walk to the center of town, to work cleaning. I creepily walked behind her for about fifty feet then introduced myself. After we finished our salutations she was like "I had better get going" and pointed her head in the direction of the common. I had to go that way so we walked in silence for a few minutes with the comment about the weather. It felt like an awkward situation straight out of a cliche movie. There is work to do.
The picture of the day today, is of graffiti I took a few days ago, but it no longer looks like a picture. I think its quite alright though.

I despise waking up early. Last night, despite my best efforts, I fell asleep around 2 am, and have felt exhausted ever since. The first hour of the first day of school is always quite exciting, seeing everyone again and feeling optimism over the seemingly endless possibilities for the upcoming year. As soon as I stepped into my first class, this notion began to fade. My classes are fine. Anyways. I'm more fatigued right now than I have been all summer. Gahh. Wow this sounds like a rather whiny little account about day 1, even though it was an okay day. The only reason it wasn't the best was because of Graphics long block. We listened to Ms Ranson life story for about an hour and cleaned desks for the remainder. Four Winds- Bright Eyes

Finishing my apush work today was relieving. Beyond relieving. The funny truth is, I really didn't mind the work much because I like writing about history. I just dedicated three whole days to it and put in so much effort that I was hugely glad to be done. When I wrote my name and date on the paper, it hit me that it really is September. Not only that it is September, but that it was 70 years to the day that WWII broke out, which is what my paper was about. Doesn't that sound crazy. 70 years ago TODAY. I can't get my head around school tomorrow. It's not a bad thing, just a strange thought at this point. I'm a junior? My sister is a frosh? Gahh. Anyways my plan is to blog everyday for the next two weeks like I used to, and hopefully not shitty entries like this one. The song of the day is Summer Skin by Death Cab even though I had it on here not too long ago. The funniest thing that happened today was when I showed my sister the picture on here and she said "You look like you are wearing headgear but otherwise its cool". Arrivederci summer months!